Horse Madness
a guest post by Hankwizard
My horse is going mad.
It sounds like I’m being reductive-
But that’s because I don’t understand it.
Something about equi-
Cerebral rapid-onset doctor
Demento radio station horse
Deterioration disease.
I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, really.
My horse isn’t able to be treated, we just have to-
I don’t know-
Keep it company?
What does a horse know of company, really?
Actually, I think they’re herd animals.
My mother described them as beautiful;
Social, but still loving their
Space, desperate for
Love but not from
You, honey.
A lack of connection.
Preferences, who knows.
Maybe he sensed…
It’s not my horse to me.
It was a gift for my thirteenth birthday.
Mom wanted me to be an equestrian:
Horseback riding competition
Rodeo yeehaw with
Mother cheering in the stadium
At herself, reflected in myself;
Reflective of nothing important.
I sound so callous.
It’s hard to bond with an animal you did not
Want
Need
Ask for,
But my horse, late into his twenties-
Good for a horse-
He’s confused.
Does he, this horse, see me as a sibling?
As we saw my mother as a mom?
Does he feel the same about her absence?
My horse is going mad and soon, he’ll just
be a dead horse.
But before he goes, I think I’ll sit atop him one more time.
He seems content,
At least until he forgets this moment in the morning.
Hankwizard is a short story author and multimedia artist from NC. His work centers around mental health, deviance, and rejecting despair. Horse Madness was written in 2022 when he was in college- a bad habitat for an autistic person, and definitely no place for a horse.
This is published as part of WIFI SAVES open call for short fiction, poetry, and essays. Feel free to dm the instagram account with your piece and a short bio!